Implode

Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Pairing: AkuRoku
-o-
I can't bear this. The pain swells up in my chest as your footsteps fade away from me, one gentle tap against the pavement at a time. My legs tighten to run after you even as my shoes become stone, holding me in place. "No one would miss me." Why can't you understand that I would?

No, that's not right. If you left me, I just might die. Losing my heart for a second time just might tear me apart from the inside because, for the first time in years, I had feelings. For the first time in my life, I've had feelings that meant more to me than my very existence. Feelings that gave me life where I used to just simply survive for the sake of living just one more day.

"Don't leave me." Why can't I say those words as I watch you walk away from me? "Stay next to me." Why is it too damn hard to open my mouth to say? "I don't want to say good bye." My empty chest screams, but, without words, how can you hear?

I was the one who screwed every damn thing up for us, so why am I the one who can't let go? I know you hate me, so why do I still care so damn much?

We can never go back to that place. The shining place where we could sit together and laugh as if nothing would ever change. Those memories have shattered, a million tiny glittering shards cutting into my hands as I try to piece them back together. Even if I never see you smile again like you used to, knowing it's all my fault, I won't let you go. I'll cling to these pieces of broken glass and act as if nothing had happened, even if the new picture we will live is just the reflection of a lie.

You're out of my reach now, but I won't give up. I will chase you to the ends of the worlds. You are the one who turned away from me, so I'll chase you. I'll wait as long as it takes for you to turn back around. I can't just grab you since you would likely fall apart in my hands, so I'll follow and wait until you can forgive me again.

You know I can't let you go.

I'll never let you go.